okay so. in the video game Suikoden for PS1, you get ornaments from fighting monsters, things like paintings and statues and vases. you identify them, and you can sell them for money, but you can also put them up as decorations in your castle’s bath house.
one of them is called “Peeing boy”.
it’s exactly as you’d expect. a stone statue of a boy peeing that you can put in your bath. you can have eight of them in your bath. eight Peeing boys. four on the boy side, four on the girl side. the Peeing boy has no regard for the gender segregation of the bath house.
imagine you’re going around fighting dragons and kobolds or killer rabbits whatever, and they’re dropping statues of Peeing boys, and you’re just like “why the hell does a piece of sentient ivy have a statue of a Peeing boy”
and your party leader is totally oblivious and calls it a”? ornament”, and you take it to your antiques appraiser and he’s like “uh, yeah. that’s a statue of a boy peeing. it’s called a Peeing boy. i don’t know how you couldn’t figure this out.”
imagine you’re a member of this grand army attempting to liberate the nation from the clutches of an oppressive empire, but your leader decides to have Peeing boys installed as decorations in the baths. imagine talking to one of your fellow soldiers in the bunks about it. “our commander, he’s a great leader and all, but what the fuck is up with the Peeing boys”
imagine being an artist at Konami and getting instructions from your supervisor about your task for the week.
"okay, you’re gonna do some of the artwork for the antiques in the game"
"cool, sounds rad"
"you’re gonna be in the charge of the Blue dragon urn, Octopus urn, Persian lamp, Peeing boy, Kni—"
"wait, can you repeat that last one"
"what, Persian lamp?"
"no, the one after that. did you say a Peeing boy"
"yes, a Peeing boy. it’s a statue of a boy peeing"
"are we… are we putting that in our game"
"and i have to draw it"
”If you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be a tragedy.”
Quotes are from F. Scott Fitzgerald and Tokyo Ghoul. I thought it would be nice to make a Suikoden version of this quote. Thank you again for following this blog and please keep on supporting the Suikoden series. Part of Mcdohl’s gif was taken from this awesome Suikoden MAD video.